All these years and I thought Steely Dan was singing, "Backtrack, do it again- Wheels turnin' round and round" but it turns out it's "Back JACK, do it again." Since I've never been one to let the truth stand in the way of a good story or a life theme song, I'm keeping "Backtrack" as my official perseverence anthem.I'm singing it now and here's why: I can be such a wimpy baby quitter when confronted with a difficult task. For "difficult" read: anything challenging, new or unable to be completed in a day. There comes a time in everyone's life when new tools are needed. This fall, I've been spending lots of time in life's workshop trying to find some perseverence. Well, mostly crawling on the floor trying to paste together the fragments and bits of my old "Patience" toolkit with extremely limited success. I need more than patience, I need the guts and grit necessary to keep going amidst no apparent success. I need perseverence. I wish positive character attributes were easier to get. If there were a Sears store for the Psyche, I would be a preferred customer. NOT even kidding.Maybe you'll relate to some of the following projects that came to a complete standstill until I found some perseverence:
1. New Skill Leaving Appleworks for Photoshop has been tough. In fact, don't tell Photoshop, but I'm still seeing Appleworks for all sorts of reasons. Yes, Appleworks knows there's no future for us - when I'm selecting an object, AWks itself admits: "This area too complicated". How can I leave someone so honest, so direct, so, so.....vulnerable? Nonetheless, I have to leave. My screen printer insists on it as does every design partner, webmaster or breathing human. But, man is it hard. I am two days behind deadline for a design and it's not because I haven't been working steadily. It's just that learning something this big and new takes time. There are no shortcuts. Even my prayer and meditation times seem to tell me that God promised not to leave me or forsake me. He didn't promise to wiggle His nose like Samantha Stevens to magically implant knowledge into my brain and sheaves of freshly minted graphics in my outbox. Persevere. It will be worth it. It will produce a sense of accomplishment and the rush of euphoria that results from a job well done.
2. Deeper Relationships I love my family to bits. My mom is my hero, yet I recently have neglected to do a few simple things that she's told me help her feel valued. Call her for a coffee date. Call her at all, for pete's sake. Personal concerns have crowded out simple relationship maintenance that benefits mother and daughter. Coffee last week with my bright, brainy Democrat mother was an utter delight - kept me on my toes, too. A bit of time away from me,me,me produced, peace, perspective, and intimacy. Persevere. Remember to keep loving the ones we take for granted.
3.Resolved Identity Crisis Sending son #2 off to university and my baby girl to high school sent me into a tailspin. My days of hands-on parenting were over. No longer the center of their universe, I had to teach myself a new way to parent.It was hard. I didn't want to do it. I wanted my son to come back. I wanted my daughters underfoot, vying for my time and attention. This version of motherhood was impossible. I lived in denial until I realized that I was being a bit intrusive, clingy and annoying. Sidenote: I shouldn't say, "I realized" I should say I was informed that I was intrusive, clingy and annoying...What ensued was weeks of crying and saying, "What's the point? They don't need me for anything except cash and rides....blah." That's where the peverence was needed. Did I want to become a guilt producing mommy who lived in the past grieving for days goneby? A mom who had an air of disappointment and unmet expectations around her whenever her kids were around? "You never call, I get no attention, What do you care? Why don't you go off to that fancy-schmancy high school of yours and ask the big smart friends you spend all your time with...." Yikes. I'd hate to be around me then. So, am I going to run true to type and be a big wimpy quitter? NO! I'm going to hammer out a new relationship with each of these twerps I love so much. I will try to keep my expectations low, my hopes high, my arms open and my mouth shut.
4. Physical Fitness Self explanatory. I'm right there with ya.
Ask your Creator to help you find some perseverence daily. You'll need it to keep those "wheels turnin' round and round"...
contentment
Ahhh. Contentment- feeling satisfied, at ease, and utterly delighted in what you have and who you are right now. It’s tempting to view contentment as a sort of Disney bluebird that may or may not alight on your shoulder. You know to expect said bird on days when all the planets have lined up: the house is clean after everyone worked together,
(sans bickering or bribery) there was a cup of coffee and roses by your bedside as you woke, you received recognition for your brilliant contibutions at work, oh and it wasn’t a dream: the scale really does say you lost 10 pounds this week. Doesn’t sound familiar? Me neither - except for the coffee by the bed part. My contentment is so easily elusive, it’s embarassing. Friends will tell you I can rarely go to the “Parade of Homes” because it messes with my contentment. A concerned friend once took me aside and said gently, “Susan, there is so much beauty in the world. You don’t have to OWN all of it.” But I WANT to!!!!
I also envy my sister’s weight loss, my mom’s discipline, my cancer survivor uncle’s sportscar (c’mon it’s a Jag) and don’t even get me started on Christmas letters. Yeah, that’s right. I’m worse than you. Pray for my sorry soul.
Deliverence from discontent- restless, vague yearning- is not out of our control. REPEAT: Contentment can be yours right this second. It is a choice. Just like any other quality worth having (patience, kindness, peace, perseverence) contentment is attained by reclaiming ground you have unwittingly surrendered. It’s is a state of mind you can cultivate. Once cultivated, contentment becomes a gorgeous, vigorous vine whose leaves and tendrils easily smother envy, greed or anxiety. Here’s the only process I’ve found to be effective against my own particular brand of uber-discontent:
1. As the bitchy, grumbling half-thoughts swirl around like Pigpen’s dust cloud, stop. Grab onto them. Consciously listen to the backbeat of attitudes you’re building your day upon. Examine them in the light of the truth of who you are and what you already possess. Admit it: these feelings aren’t because people aren’t measuring up or because you live in such a disappointing world. You are chosing your response and your choice right now is pissiness and pouting. How’s that workin for ya?
2. Count your blessings. That’s right, Pollyanna, number two is find something to be glad about.You live in America. You have running water. Your problem is too much food,not too little. You can read. You look great is hot pink. You mix a mean mojito. Your grandma really loved you. It’s true. You were the apple of her eye.
3. Acknowledge our culture is actively campaigning to make you unhappy with the way things are. We are CONSUMERS. The world as we know it will collapse if we stop believing in the power of the next best thing. All media (read: almost any connection to the outside world) carries the message of what we need, want or should have. Remember Bill Murray in “What About Bob?” “I need, I need, I want, I want....” Don’t fall for it, sister. When there truly is something new, revolutionary and necessary, your parents will clip the article out of the Wall Street Journal and mail it to you. Or mine will and I’ll let you know.
4. Take heart. My mantra of security and peace is found in the best place ever. The Bible’s books of Psalms and Proverbs. I found my mantra a decade ago when it seemed like everyone and their brother was finding amazing financial opportunities. Additionally, I was afraid some one would have my same business ideas and make a fortune while I was in the foxhole of motherhood. These words of life come from Psalm 16: “Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup. You have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places. Surely I have a delightful inheritance!” After I recite these words, it’s all over. My heartquiets. I can rest knowing all will be well and what’s mine will be mine at the right time.
5. Challenge God. Bring your desires, hopes and dreams before Him. It’s ok if you’re still crazy hungry and dazed by desire. My plea usually goes like this: “Lord, please. Either give this to me or take these desires away from me....right now! If this is your plan for me, your dream for me, give me patience and a sense of Your timing. If it isn’t save me from myself!”
.
I don’t want to close without a word or two about ambition and drive. These are both admirable attributes! We are creative beings hardwired to find satisfaction in accomplishments and achievements. When you are inspired and excited about an idea (painting a room, starting a business, having a baby, taking a vacation) go for it! Only first check yourself with two questions:
1. Is this thing/idea at home within the boundaries of time, energy and cash I currently have? If yes, start painting/planning/kissing/packing!! If no, it may be a timing issue, a future goal, or the seed of a different,
do-able idea.
2. What am I expecting this thing to do for me? Am I hoping I will be happier and more content once this happens? Ironically, if you answer “yes” to this, you probably should put the brakes on. Remember, it isn’t the thing or circumstance that is the source of our contentment and happiness, it is an inward disposition you can choose right now. As John Candy told hisJamaican bobsled team in the movie Cool Runnings,
“If you’re not happy before the gold medal, you won’t be happy with the gold medal.”
Don’t be at the mercy of that flitting Disney bluebird. Grab hold of your mind and spirit. Give that gorgeous vine of contentment plenty of space to ramble free over the vulnerabilities and rough spots you’ve fought for ages. And when you catch that vine in bloom - pure bliss. Ahhhh.
How to Shop Right Now!
2 ways to SHOP right now:
-In the shopping section, click on any item that interests you.
You will be linked to my etsy store where shopping and check-out happens.
-If you see something you like here or on etsy , just email me
at
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
...we'll talk!
Inspiration 
