Ahhh. Contentment- feeling satisfied, at ease, and utterly delighted in what you have and who you are right now. It’s tempting to view contentment as a sort of Disney bluebird that may or may not alight on your shoulder.   You know to expect said bird on days when all the planets have lined up: the house is clean after everyone worked together,
(sans bickering or bribery) there was a cup of coffee and roses by your bedside as you woke, you received recognition for your brilliant contibutions at work, oh and it wasn’t a dream: the scale really does say you lost 10 pounds this week. Doesn’t sound familiar? Me neither - except for the coffee by the bed part. My contentment is so easily elusive, it’s embarassing. Friends will tell you I can rarely go to the “Parade of Homes” because it messes with my contentment. A concerned friend once took me aside and said gently, “Susan, there is so much beauty in the world. You don’t have to OWN all of it.” But I WANT to!!!!
I also envy my sister’s weight loss, my mom’s discipline, my cancer survivor uncle’s sportscar (c’mon it’s a Jag) and don’t even get me started on Christmas letters. Yeah, that’s right. I’m worse than you. Pray for my sorry soul.

Deliverence from discontent-  restless, vague yearning- is not out of our control. REPEAT: Contentment can be yours right this second. It is a choice. Just like any other quality worth having (patience, kindness, peace, perseverence) contentment is attained by reclaiming ground you have unwittingly surrendered. It’s is a state of mind you can cultivate. Once cultivated, contentment becomes a gorgeous, vigorous vine whose leaves and tendrils easily smother envy, greed or anxiety. Here’s the only process I’ve found to be effective against my own particular brand of uber-discontent:

1. As the bitchy, grumbling half-thoughts swirl around like Pigpen’s dust cloud, stop. Grab onto them. Consciously listen to the backbeat of attitudes you’re building your day upon. Examine them in the light of the truth of who you are and what you already possess. Admit it: these feelings aren’t because people aren’t measuring up or because you live in such a disappointing world.  You are chosing your response and your choice right now is pissiness and pouting. How’s that workin for ya?

2. Count your blessings. That’s right, Pollyanna, number two is find something to be glad about.You live in America. You have running water. Your problem is too much food,not too little. You can read. You look great is hot pink. You mix a mean mojito. Your grandma really loved you. It’s true. You were the apple of her eye.

3. Acknowledge our culture is actively campaigning  to make you unhappy with the way things are. We are CONSUMERS. The world as we know it will collapse if we stop believing in the power of the next best thing. All media (read: almost any connection to the outside world) carries the message of what we need, want or should have. Remember Bill Murray in “What About Bob?” “I need, I need, I want, I want....” Don’t fall for it, sister. When there truly is something new, revolutionary and necessary, your parents will clip the article out of the Wall Street Journal and mail it to you. Or mine will and I’ll let you know.

4. Take heart. My mantra of security and peace is found in the best place ever. The Bible’s books of Psalms and Proverbs. I found my mantra a decade ago when it seemed like everyone and their brother was finding amazing financial opportunities. Additionally, I was afraid some one would have my same business ideas and make a fortune while I was in the foxhole of motherhood. These words of life come from Psalm 16: “Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup. You have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places. Surely I have a delightful inheritance!”  After I recite these words, it’s all over. My heart quiets. I can rest knowing all will be well and what’s mine will be mine at the right time.

5. Challenge God. Bring your desires, hopes and dreams before Him. It’s ok if you’re still crazy hungry and dazed by desire. My plea usually goes like this: “Lord, please. Either give this to me or take these desires away from me....right now! If this is your plan for me, your dream for me, give me patience and a sense of Your timing. If it isn’t save me from myself!”
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I don’t want to close without a word or two about ambition and drive. These are both admirable attributes! We are creative beings hardwired to find satisfaction in accomplishments and achievements. When you are inspired and excited about an idea (painting a room, starting a business, having a baby, taking a vacation) go for it! Only first check yourself with two questions:

1. Is this thing/idea at home within the boundaries of time, energy and cash I currently have? If yes, start painting/planning/kissing/packing!! If no, it may be a timing issue, a future goal, or the seed of a different,
do-able idea.

2. What am I expecting this thing to do for me? Am I hoping I will be happier and more content once this happens? Ironically, if you answer “yes” to this, you probably should put the brakes on. Remember, it isn’t the thing or circumstance that is the source of our contentment and happiness,  it is an inward disposition you can choose right now. As John Candy told his Jamaican bobsled team in the movie Cool Runnings,
“If you’re not happy before the gold medal, you won’t be happy with the gold medal.”

Don’t be at the mercy of that flitting Disney bluebird. Grab hold of your mind and spirit. Give that gorgeous vine of contentment plenty of space to ramble free over the vulnerabilities and rough spots you’ve fought for ages. And when you catch that vine in bloom - pure bliss. Ahhhh.